We did not have to start out on our 10 hour drive with "Barf Bowl" in hand. We would not be so used to kids feeling sick the morning of the beginning of vacation that we actually have a "Barf Bowl"....and it's absolutely not decorated.
We did NOT resort to eating at MickyDs a total of 3 times. I have spent way too much time trying to have my family eat healthier things to then say "heck with it" on our vacation and cave for what was cheap and easy. But, seriously, where's an In-N-Out when you need it?
And I definitely would not have taken a picture of my baby sleeping on his Aunt and Uncle's couch, only to discover while uploading and examining the pictures that, yes indeed, he did fall asleep with a fry sleeve in hand. Nope. Not me.
I absolutely did not let my children participate in another unhealthy activity (watching way more T.V. than they're used to watching) because it was just too.dang.hot., during the triple digit heat wave that lasted a few days, to even step foot outside.
I did not pray that my "sis-in-law" (She's technically not my SIL. Billy's cousin's wife. But he's like a brother to Billy and she's like a sis to me.) would go into labor while we were in California so I could be a part of it, be an eye witness to another miracle, and hold my new "niece" before she's a year old. I did not rub her belly numerous times and say, "C'mon bebe!" (Nacho Libre style) to "aid" in that process. I am not still glowing that God answered my prayer. More about all those "Nots" in another post, of course!
I did not, myself, on our 10 hour drive home, eat In-N-Out (burger, fries, AND shake. Thankyouverymuch.), a couple bites of Linc's Subway sandwich, a foo-foo coffee from Dutch Bros, Taco Bell, AND a Take 5 candy bar. And I won't tell you that when we arrived home at around 9pm I did not also down a Nutty Bar that I discovered we still had in the pantry. (Can someone please tell me why I typed that out? It looks so much worse in writing.) Because if I had consumed about 8 times the calories that any human being should consume in a given day, I would absolutely never admit to it. And I would never excuse it in my own brain, by telling myself that I had sweat enough in the last 2 record high northern California days to burn off most of that
I did not come home to a kid's bathroom that smelled all kinds of rancid because someone forgot to flush the toilet before we left for 8 days. That would never happen in this household, especially after I thought I checked for that before we left.
Because I would never laugh at my own joke or overuse a joke (facebook, twitter, blog, ahem) I will not tell you again that the evil voice of Mt. KillinMeWithLaundry is calling my name yet again. The really scary part? Mt. KillinMeWithLaundry can magically move from suitcase, to laundry room floor, and then rest itself on living room couch where it decides to settle until I just can't stand it any longer and decide to move it to the closets. And I'm not telling how long I can stand for it to reside there. I'm not telling all my bad habits. Really, I'm not.
Until the next time I decide to air all my dirty laundry... (snicker, snicker, snort) Get it?! See, I told you I never laugh at my own
bad jokes. NOPE! NOT ME!!