Not Me! Monday - Stellan Style

The title says it all.

This carnival wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Stellan's wonderful Mama, MckMama, so instead of the usual, silly everyday stories about my life, this week you will hear about the things that I definitely did NOT do regarding this beautiful baby boy and his mama.

I was not in tears several times with a heavy heart, this week during the down times of this roller coaster ride over a little boy and a mama that I don't actually "know" in the face to face sense. I have not fallen in love with this little boy, as well. And I most definitely do not consider her a friend now just because we had started to email on a semi-regular basis. And I definitely have not recently compared this to the days of old when pen-pals was a common way to "meet" and be "friends" with people that we hadn't actually seen in real life. Definitely not me!

I will not admit to having my computer up and ready to hit refresh any time I would walk in the room or by it several dozen times a day to see if there was any updates on Stellan, wishing every time that I would see the words, "Stellan is completely and miraculously healed...again!". Not me.

And whenever I needed to leave my home, I absolutely did not set twitter to send me a text every time MckMama twittered an update, and then proceed to get irritated with twitter for sometimes sending them to me and sometimes not! Nope. Not me.

And I absolutely did not lay face down on my carpet petitioning our God to reach down and touch Stellan's struggling little heart. A posture that I'm sad and ashamed to say I had not taken in awhile.

And on Wednesday when we first heard about Stellan's V-Tach, I did not grab all 3 of my children and kneel down with them in the living room to pray right then and there for Stellan, after calling my hubby at work to do the same, and then feel the tears pour down my face while praying for him and listening to my children pray. And it did not break my heart even more when I looked up to find my daughter's wet eyes and my buddy's face with streams of tears flowing down. This family and little boy have definitely not touched my heart this much. Absolutely not.

And Stellan is not constantly on my heart and mind. And I am definitely not praying without ceasing for him as I go about my day. And I have not taken several pictures for Stellan's Name Gallery. And I did not request an address from MckMama's friend, Mama Bear, so that I could put together a little package for her. And I have not wished that I could visit the Frozen Tundra so that I could be of some other help to her. And I did not post about Stellan several times this week. And I do not get a little nervous when we haven't heard anything in awhile. But I also did not write MckMama telling her that it's OK if she doesn't want to write or twitter or whatever, because we all would UNDERSTAND.

And lastly, but definitely not least, I have not spent a little more time holding my children, gazing at them while they're sleeping, telling them I love them, thanking God for the blessing they bring to my life, and hurting for all those who are doing all those things with their children while sitting in a hospital room.


One more thing...


I will NOT, and by not, this time I truly mean NOT, stop lifting sweet 5 month old Stellan, MckMama, and the rest of this family up to our Father in heaven. I will not stop asking for complete healing. I will not stop praying scripture over them. I will not expect anything less than for God to continue to be glorified in this. I will not stop loving these fellow followers of Christ.....


And if you too, would like to join in this very special edition of Not Me! Monday - Stellan Style please visit The Cline Family blog, who's hosting this, and add your Mr. Linky as well. I know MckMama will appreciate the love being poured out over her and Stellan and the rest of their family...