Not Me! Monday

If you've been hangin' out here for very long you would know that on Monday's this is what you'll find. Me. Being brutally honest. Living to tell about it. Linking up over at MckMama's. Joining hundreds of others who have done the same. I don't know about you, but it's always reassuring to me when I read about things that others did.not.do, the exact things, in fact, that I most certainly don't ever do, and things, that I'm sure, YOU have never and would never in million years do. It's just a bonding experience, if you know what I mean.

So...

I am not sitting here tired as can be, straining to think of anything remotely Not Me! Monday worthy. I would never put so much pressure on myself to think of something semi-interesting or funny just so I could actually publish a post with this title and have it not be a total of one sentence. Nope. Not me.

When I just wrote the word "straining", my fried mommy-brain (which, of course, translates: "Suddenly (after children), there's not half the brain there used to be"...which, of course, was sung in my head by the Beatles) did not immediately think of giving birth activities that will remain nameless on this blog. My mind would never be so random as that. Nope. Never. Seriously, it wouldn't. Definitely not. WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME???!!!!

Anywho...

My darling daughter DOES have an Easter bucket that she has turned into a "trash can".

And I'm definitely not about to tell you that the contents of that "trash can" were a paper cup, a wad of hair, a few non-sticky stickers, and...are you ready?...a BUNCH of dried up boogers. Oops. Did I say the B-word? Sorry. But if those WERE the contents, I would definitely not admit to it, since I have stellar skills in teaching my daughter lady-likeness and all. Obviously.

And I most certainly would never take a picture of such a thing, if it actually existed. Because that would just.be.gross.

And I would not then proceed to tell you that this is better than the alternative of finding "them" in her bed when I go to change the sheets, because that would be even worse.

Welcome to my world.:)

P.S. I will most likely NOT have to consider removing this from recorded form, so as not to embarrass the little girl who will grow up to be a lovely lady...

For those readers I haven't lost after the last little story, I will leave you with one last thing that I did not do this last week...

I DID NOT burst into snort laughter (there is such a thing, you know.) when my husband was trying to discipline our oldest and was demonstrating himself how not to do something. It was not so over-dramatic that it led me to convulse in an effort to keep laughter in (yeeeaah. It didn't work.), so as not to thwart his "serious" reprimand. Nope. Not me.

Aaaand...

That's all I've got.

Tune in next week for more things I didn't do. And hopefully it will not be more interesting...

Phew. I am definitely not just a little relieved that I actually finished this before Monday was over...