Friday, November 21, 2008


Lately, I've been evaluating A LOT of things in my life...
One of which is relationships and my role in them. Because we are all sinners, this area of friendship/relationship will never be perfected here on THIS earth. And that makes me sad. What I can do is continue to look at the ultimate example in this...Jesus. Just like everyone I've been "let-down" and my heart has been deeply hurt. There have also been times when I have had to ask for forgiveness from another. We've all heard this word before -"expectations". And so much of hurt in relationships is from un-met expectations. And while we know this is why we are, not always, but often hurt in relationships, it's so hard to not to let those feelings come through.

I came across the following post on a new site I found, and it was a good reminder for me, so maybe it will be for you too. One that I need to remember in dealing with friends, family, and those hard-to-love-in-my-own-strength people in my life...

More than anything, keep loving each other actively;
because love covers many sins.
~ 1 Peter 4:8

Have you figured out yet that this life is all about relationships? The Relationship Expert Himself wrote an entire Book about the matter. The First Four Words of The Ten He gave us had to do with relating to Him…and the Last Six Words had to do with relating to everyone else! What I’m trying to say, folks, is that it matters to our LORD how we deal with people…yes, even ‘Sister Scouring Pad’ (the one known for her abrasive qualities).

We all have at least one relationship in need of His healing touch, don’t we? 1 Peter 3:8-12 describes a process of His sanctification in us through friction with others…’it is to this we have been called that we might receive a blessing’. We receive this blessing as we do things His way and give up the right to ourselves.

H.U.G.S. is surely one great way to deal with conflict. The definition of conflict is ‘to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; to clash’. Has this ever happened to you? John records these words from Jesus: “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

We have tribulation because sin resides in every human heart. But let’s not kid ourselves - even if you or I were the only one on this earth, we’d still have our issues! Therefore, we can look at conflict as an event and H.U.G.S. as appropriate God-honoring, Christ-exalting responses to a brother or sister. Until the LORD comes back, His Spirit will be teaching us all about His blessed grace and giving us ample opportunity to grow in it and extend it to others.

What would our relationships look like if we dealt in the following manner with each other?

• H - Honestly (Proverbs 24:26; Romans 12:9-10)

• U - Understandingly (Proverbs 14:29; James 1:20)

• G - Graciously (Colossians 4:6; Proverbs 11:16; Ecclesiastes 10:12) AND finally…

• S - Simply (Matthew 5:37; Proverbs 10:19; Ecclesiastes 5:7)

Jesus said that the world would know we are His disciples by the love we have for one another (John 13:35). This ahava (Hebrew: ‘love’) is the first attribute listed of the Spirit’s fruit because it is from ‘ahava’ that the remaining Kingdom fruit flows. Ahava, at its core, is a heavenly action displayed through an earthly vessel. It is His love flowing through us.

Because HUGS are a very SUPERnatural response, they are able to soften the edges of even the harshest Sister (yes, even Scouring Pad or Brillo Britches…whatever makes you laugh harder).

by Carmen Schroeder
Found here:

1 comment:

Jenny Kay said...

What I like most about the verse you posted (More than anything, keep loving each other actively;
because love covers many sins. 1 Peter 4:8) is the word "actively". Relationships are living things; like Love. We have to nurture them and allow them to grow. But unlike Love, some relationships die. It's okay to grieve those friendships lost. It's also important to hold-fast to the good ones. And hopefully they will hold fast to you. You are so very worth it... even 2.5 hours away.

So... Cheers to the good relationships and friendships in your life. I certainly toast you in mine.